Brexit and a stinky fridge

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There’s three of us living here and our current fridge is tiny – about the size of a washing machine. We’ve been in need of some cold real estate expansion for a few months. However, nobody actually wanted to arrange it. We didn’t want to spend a fortune on it as our lease ends in April next year, so we kept putting it off.

It was a Sunday and Amazon was whining about our fridge situation. I amassed all of my negotiation skills and managed to empower her to take some initiative. She went on Gumtree and a call or two later had it all organized.

A day later we had our fridge delivered by some dodgy immigrants. There was a smell around the men when they delivered it. I thought the men smelled, but it was actually the fridge.

We were told not to turn it on for about two hours because of whatever lame dodgy fridge salesman excuse. So it just stood in the middle of the living room overnight.

Come morning time, and I switched the bad boy on. Immediate regret followed. The fridge was noisy as hell. I could not even hear my own thoughts when next to it. But it gets worse.

The inside of the fridge was quite smelly only to be surpassed by the stench coming from the back of it. That smell concentrated near my room and I was breathing all of that motor grease oily smell in whilst trying to get some sleep. I was worried I’d wake up dead.

First thing in the morning I unplugged the bloody thing and told my housemates we need to get rid of it. It was too noisy and made the entire flat smell. It had to go.

For reasons, which I don’t quite understand, Amazon did not share my sentiment and didn’t think the noise was excessive nor did the fridge smell in her infinite wisdom. I think she got attached to it because she picked it out and now has trouble coming to terms with making a poor consumer decision.

Anywho, I got my housemates’ blessing and listed the fridge on Gumtree for £50 (we bought it for £102). My ad didn’t attract any interest. Mr Chemistry said it’s not surprising and suggested I list it for free. I asked Amazon if she was OK with that and her words were “I don’t care”.

All my female readers will now think that “I bet he didn’t even know what that meant. It means precisely that this is going to be a massive issue if he “sells” it for free” and that’s exactly what happened. I got rid of the fridge today and my life was beautiful again. At least for a short while.

Before I went to bed I had a look at my trading portfolio which showed a small loss of around £50 because everybody thought the UK was going to remain in the UK. At least that’s what the money voted on. This is because all the bookies got a massive splurge of people coming in with bets for the UK to vote remain.

I woke up with an open loss of about £1,000. Not exactly the best start to the day! About 90% of the votes had been counted and Brexit was winning. I was quite surprised. I went for a run and couldn’t but help myself thinking that every other Brit is xenophobic and/or racist. This was a tough pill to swallow. I felt and still do feel quite unwelcome here.

The GET BACK TO YOUR OWN COUNTRY mentality is strong. I thought this was something people were jokingly saying but the Brits actually meant it. How terrible is that? I found myself asking do I want to live in a country where more than half the nation doesn’t want me here. Well… it’s not much of a question really. The answer is: No!

Fuck no!

I would have never moved to England if it wasn’t for the EU. I was in New Zealand before moving here and I think I would’ve stayed there if I had a crystal ball (I’d also be fabulously rich with my crystal ball but that’s another story…). I think I’ve played my cards wrong. Two and a half years I’ve been here and worked here and paid my taxes, never been on benefits, never commit a crime etc. Now I’m suddenly the enemy.

In all honesty it’s the 50+ year olds who voted out, the younger ones mostly voted remain. So the people who were faced with the shortest time of living with the consequences got their way and the younger generations with up to 50+ years ahead of them will have to clean up the mess. Or maybe older folks are more xenophobic and long for a time when racism and hate were cool?

People at work didn’t quite want to discuss this topic with me. It’s painfully obvious why – about half of them voted out which clearly means they think I’m a threat of some kind or a moocher or another bloody immigrant. You can’t even trust the ones who said they were “pro remain” as every second person voted out. They’re lying and don’t even have the balls to expose their xenophobia. Cowards!

I am an immigrant and I think I’m a better person because of that. In my book Estonia (that’s where I’m from) is also a very xenophobic hateful nation. I’ve lived in five countries so far, I’ve travelled to many more. I’ve seen the world and experienced different cultures – not just as a tourist but lived amongst the natives. I’ve grown as a man and become more open-minded and understanding in the process.

not-aholes

Change the religions in the above picture to people with different nationalities. The message is the same.

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime” – Mark Twain.

It’s a sad day.

And the best thing which happened was the moment the fridge was taken away. Sadly, this joy was also taken away from me when Amazon decided to make a scene about it. I don’t get it. I got all my housemates’ blessing to get rid of it, it was a horrible product – FFS there was brown smelly liquid stuff leaking from the back of it. Our financial loss was only £34 per person, which is peanuts. I just don’t understand her. Why are her precious feelings or emotional attachments so important? It was just a crappy fridge.

I would do the same again, any day. No regrets.

If you wanted, you could draw further parallels here. The fridge was the EU and I got rid of it because it’s a shitty product. However, the difference is that I know there are better products available which I can replace the fridge with. That’s not the case with leaving the EU, as there’s considerable uncertainty about the future. In fact, there is no leadership and nobody knows where this train of hate is heading to.

Sad Ivar

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Tying the knot

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I remember like it was yesterday. Well, it was actually this morning but who’s counting?

Hot Chocolate came down the stairs with his suit on and in his new pair of shoes. Nervous like a little schoolgirl, he asked me if he should wear a tie to his first day at his new job.

“Obviously yes!” I replied. Then he gave me his tie and said “you do it!” By that he meant that I should tie the tie as he didn’t know how to. Luckily I was prepared.

tie

Just half an hour earlier I fixed my own tie. It was months ago when I last tied my own tie. I always keep the knot in because I don’t know how to do it properly. As the weeks progressed and it became more and more obvious that the skinny part of the tie was getting longer and longer compared to the fat part I decided that I should get this first world issue sorted.

It took me two YouTube videos, about eight attempts and 20 minutes until I was victorious. My triumph was staggering. I felt empowered. I could take on the world.

I took Romario’s tie and put a knot on it in twenty seconds flat… only to discover the horror on his face when he realized that his shirt had no proper collar and a tie doesn’t really work with it. I was deeply distraught but the fashion police inside me was strong. I said he looked fine. I tucked his shirt in, slapped that booty and off he went with a big smile to cease the day.

The whole scene was so funny, I felt like sharing.

Ivor the Salad

Posted in Fun

Another day, another diploma

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This time I actually woke up at 5:50 according to my alarm clock (phone) which is ten minutes ahead of the correct time. Normally I’d spend the next half hour or so snoozing even then it’s a training day. It was Friday and I went downstairs to put my running shoes on to do my usual 10-miler.

Somehow I managed to run the fastest 10-miler for this year, even though I was trying to be slow. I was dreading 8 AM because that’s when my AF5 exam results were released – FYI you need to log on to a website to get your results. Quick shower followed by a big breakfast which I purposefully took my time preparing. 8 AM arrived as I sat down to eat but then I remembered it was also my mother’s birthday.

I figured I’d better call her before finding out my results. Otherwise, if it’s a fail, I might sound depressed or something. I had a 10 minute chat with her until I ran out of Skype credit. It seems that Skype will cut off your call at the 10 minute mark if you run out of money.

Then I checked my result and it was a PASS. I did the usual victory dance every gambler does at a Las Vegas casino. Now I have completed my Advanced Diploma in Financial Planning and also reached Fellowship of the Personal Finance Society, which is the highest qualification you can get here in the UK for financial planning.

About two years ago when I first came to the UK I worked in an admin job, I was miserable and hated it. The only way forward was to get some exams under my belt. I took my first exam in June 2014 and was surprised when I passed it. I made a decision to take exams as often and as fast as possible. It took me 19 exams and a bit less than two years to get to Fellowship. I’ve actually kept up a bit of a study log:

R01 116H
R02 104H
R03   92H (passed on second attempt)
R04 102H
R05   96H
R06 106H (fail) + 40H (passed second attempt)
J10    14H
J05, AF1, AF3, AF4, 206H (took all exams over 3 consecutive days)
FA2, FA7, J12 40H
FA1, FA6 10H
FA4, FA5 56H
AF5 26H (fail) + 20H (passed second attempt)
Roughly 1,028 hours.

I guess it’s true what they say about 1,000 hours of study to become an expert in something.

Anywho, the joy lasted for ten seconds tops. It passed and was replaced with a feeling of emptiness. I didn’t feel accomplished at all. It’s very similar to my uni graduations – neither felt like a big thing. Another day, another diploma… and I found myself asking the question “Now what?”

another day

I didn’t even feel like sharing the news with my colleagues. I sent an email to my manager (we need to do this because the company paid for my exam) and she later shared the news with the office. A few “well done’s“ and “congrats” followed and it wasn’t news anymore.

What next? Surprise, surprise, I’m going to do more exams but this time with CISI – Chartered Institute of Securities and Investments. I think the studying will never end!

Ivar