Rock bottom

0

Some of my friends might remember what I said back in uni. I used to say that exercising was harmful for your health. I knew so many people who were always complaining that they can’t run or cycle or play basketball because of their knee or some other injury.  Now I’m one of those people… but I’ll get better and will be smarter about training in the future. It’s only harmful if you overtrain or go too far too soon.
I also thought that the gym was for the weak. I still think so. Hey, think about it. If you were as strong as Hercules you wouldn’t need a gym. You’d be done! Finished! 😀
I don’t know what I’ll do this Saturday. Maybe I’ll do the half marathon instead or the 11km or the 6km and just walk it. It’s rather disappointing – I’ve been looking forward to the marathon for so long.
At least it’s a good life lesson – things don’t always go as planned. You get hurt. And life can suck. Maybe I’m one of those people who have really bad luck. I think if it was raining pussy I’d still get hit in the head with a dick.
I’ve been in similar situations before. Hey, we’ve all been there… rock bottom… In my case there’s rock bottom, 50 feet of crap and THEN there’s me. Hello! Yes, you’re smiling because you can relate to that. 😀

rock bottom
In retrospect all the bad stuff was just a bump in the road. Things got better, they always have and why would this time be different. I’m looking forward to the next day, marathon or not. Carpe diem!

Ivar the PepTalkGuy

Advertisements

Too dumb

0

I put my hands together and extended my index fingers – just like the hypnotizer instructed. Then he said that the fingers want to stay together but he challenged us to try to separate them. As I did that the fingers magically came closer and closer and closer until they touched. The man said that if my fingers came together I was a good subject for being hypnotized. Then he asked volunteers to come on the stage and my hand was waving fanatically.

People who are stupid can’t be hypnotized. That’s what I was told. Or maybe it was a joke? I will never know.

About 12 people were sitting on chairs on the stage and we were all hypnotized – except that it didn’t work on me. I kept my eyes shut and tried to relax and focus on his words but that had no effect on me.

Other than that the show was funny. He got people to dance like Elvis or like a chicken. People were laying square eggs, looking for their imaginary dog… He transformed several men into supermodels on a catwalk and got them to do lap dances for people in the audience. The guy sitting next to me was turned into a 4 year old girl who found his mother’s make-up kit and played dress up. I saw all that and it was real. They weren’t pretending.

Cool stuff. Thank you Princess for the tickets!

After the show I walked slowly back to Prince Charming’s car because my back was still hurting but at least I could walk (massive improvement).

I’ve done no running in the last 7 days. The most I could do is 3 seconds of jogging in one place. There’s no way I’ll be running a marathon this Saturday – that miracle recovery thing isn’t happening.

Ivar the Turtle

The steps that broke the camel’s back

0

I’m sure you’ve all heard of “the law of attraction”. There was a book about it and also a movie – The Secret. The law basically says that everything which happens to you is because you attracted it.

Well… yesterday I went running. It was supposed to be an easy 26 km run. In my book that’s a short distance for a long run. After about 15 km my lower back started hurting. I ignored the pain since it was unusual. It got pretty bad but I kept telling myself that the fastest way home would be to continue running.

After I got home and took a shower I wasn’t able to walk anymore. I couldn’t put my bodyweight into my right leg. And today wasn’t much different from yesterday.

It’s pathetic.

The law of attraction says that this is what I wanted and therefore the Universe replied. Thank you Universe! This is exactly what I needed just 12 days before my marathon. How can I ever repay you?

Okay, okay. I don’t really blame “the Universe”. I did this to myself – I knew it wasn’t a good idea to keep going but I just wanted to finish the distance because I was supposed to run it on Sunday, not Monday. On Sunday the Lizard was pretty convincing. I heard things like “hey, you’re tapering, it’s cold outside and it’s raining, you don’t want to risk getting sick  just two weeks before your marathon” and I gave in. On Monday I felt bad about it. Maybe my subconsciousness was punishing me for my lack of discipline? I ran because I thought I deserved to be in pain?

I’m a bit worried whether my back will let me race in Uluru at all. Soooo… things aren’t going too well right now but I’m hoping for a miracle recovery. Wish me luck!

Oh and… my vegan week was a success and it wasn’t as difficult as I imagined to change my diet. I’m continuing the vegan thing for a whole month.

Ivar the Cripple

A cake with a surprise

0

After my baking project I was sure I’d never bake anything again, until I was invited to a birthday party. My little social group was discussing gift ideas and I suggested a prank – an exploding birthday cake.

Everybody was in agreement that this was a good idea… unfortunately nobody volunteered for the task. Since I had a bit of experience with cakes I decided to take up this challenge.

I Googled some instructions and watched several YouTube videos to get an idea how the explosive cake was made. Basically you’ve got a tray and an inflated balloon is taped onto it. The whole thing is covered with some whipped cream and decorated like a normal birthday cake. As the birthday girl/boy cuts the cake open the balloon pops and the whipped cream explodes everywhere. That’s the gist of it.

I was making the first cake but I wasn’t gentle enough with the balloon. It popped as I was trying to tape it to the serving dish. Fail!

The second time I was a bit more careful, I also decided to put more air into the balloon to reach its maximum explosive potential. This time I even covered the thing with whipped cream. The problem was that decoration has never been one of my strongest skills – it looked rather gross and ugly. The birthday boy would have never believed it was a real cake.

After careful consideration I decided to throw the fugly thing into the trashcan. I knew I could do better.

Soon afterwards, a masterpiece was in the making. Cake 2.0 was a huge improvement – a bit smaller but much more realistic than its predecessor. I was confident it would paint half the restaurant white with whipped cream.

The next day we all got together for the birthday dinner… everybody had fun blah blah blah. We got the staff to serve the cake and everybody was singing “Happy birthday!” Here’s what happened:

Uhm… things didn’t exactly go as planned, but it was hilarious. Everybody was expecting a big bang but all it did was deflate. 😀 A failure can still be a great success!!!

On a different note, I decided to do a vegan week starting today. If it’s not too difficult I might continue longer. Here’s pretty much why I’m doing it:

Vegetarianism

Ivar

Power of Cake

2

It was a summer evening, nothing special about the day. She bought all the ingredients and said that she’ll make the lemon tart. So I told Emily that she better get on it because I expect to have some cake for breakfast. I went to dreamland with a happy smile on my face.

The morning dawned and I went looking for some cake but there was none to be found. She didn’t make it. Damn her and her empty promises! I will never trust Australians. All they do is raise your hopes and expectations but when push comes to shove they never deliver.

I decided to take matters into my own hands. I don’t need her! I can make my own bloody cake.

That’s how it started. I made my first lemon tart from a cookbook and it was a great success.

Soon afterwards I decided that I will make every recipe from that book. It’s another item on my bucket list. I’ve tried other cookbooks but some recipes ended up costing me about $50 each and were too fancy for my taste. This book was different.

Fast forward about 5 months… today I made the last recipe from Merle’s Kitchen by Merle Parrish. I’ve made cakes, puddings, slices, desserts, sponges, cupcakes, scones, bread loafs, biscuits and cookies – a total of 103 recipes. Most of them turned out really well but I had several epic failures too.

Every time I call my mom she asks me about my diet. I always tell her that I eat cakes and such. It’s also the food which has fueled my marathon training.

Mmm… carbs!!!

About a week ago I ran 42.2 km on one of my training runs and added another 80 km in the next 7 days. That’s the power of cake!

Ivar the MasterChef

Here are the photos: