What happens in Paihia, stays in Paihia

My first orgy! All the details are a bit hazy but here’s how I remember it. I walked back to my hostel and heard laughter and giggles coming from my room. I opened the door and saw eleven hot naked girls on the bunk beds. They were saying things like “I’ve been waiting for you. Come! Take me…. Take me now!”. And of course I couldn’t say no to this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Everybody knows it’s a Christmas tradition in Argentina – it’s called the traditional Christmas  Eve orgy. It’s considered extremely rude to decline such an offer.




Honestly, that’s how I remember that night.

A merry merry Christmas! I was supposed to go on a road trip with Vera and Tim (from Germany and USA respectively) but Vera’s car started to make a noise and we decided to take the bus instead. We need to take the car to a mechanic. Not a good time for that during the Christmas holidays…

I spent my last night in Auckland at that Latin dancing venue. They had a Christmas party which was a great success. Lots of people showed up and I had a good time dancing with those hot Russian girls. It seemed that almost every second person I danced with was Russian. That was lovely. I had a good time, plus the performances were quite epic.

I did a bit of zouk with one girl – Phoebe – and she was really good to dance with. She followed my lead perfectly. I told her that she’s great to dance with and she just smiled. It turned out she’s a dance instructor at that dancing school. 😀 That’s what happens when you don’t know anybody.

The next day I packed my stuff and took the bus to Paihia. It’s one of those little towns near a nice beach at the Bay of Islands. My plan was to go kayaking and parasailing.

Urupukapuka. I met up with Tim and Vera and we spent one day on Urupukapuka island (the largest island in the Bay of Islands). It was a nice place with lots of beautiful scenery, lookouts and nature. The only crappy thing was that sometimes the track was covered with sheep shit. Literally. We were walking on shit. A bunch of sheep lived on the island and that’s just what sheep do.

I found it funny that the sheep had a fence around them. What’s the fence for? Are kiwis afraid that the sheep will escape and swim to the main land?

We had a good time walking the tracks on the island, had a picnic on a cliff and saw beautiful pohutukawa trees (the trees with the red flowers).

Parasailing. The next day I went parasailing with Tim. Vera was a bit scared or didn’t feel like spending $90 on that. Parasailing was a very nice and relaxing thing to do – you just hang up there in the air from a parachute. I was worried that I’d freeze in the air but it was quite pleasant. Generally a very positive experience – the view was nice and I highly recommend doing it. After all parasailing was the reason why I came to the Bay of Islands in the first place.

Kayaking. The second thing I wanted to do was kayaking. I’ve never kayaked before and this here was going to be my first time. Tim and Vera were staying in a different hostel than me. They had kayaks which were available for free. After my parasailing trip Tim and I walked to his hostel and we saw Vera. She was about to go kayaking with some other German – Jeremy or something was his name. Since I didn’t have any other plans I asked them if I could join them. Vera was ok with that but Jeremy didn’t seem too happy about it. I guess he wanted to spend some private time with Vera 😀

Mwahahahaa !

I’m such a cock-block. 😀

I guess we’re even now Germany. That’s for starting the Second World War.

Anywho, once we got the kayaks to the water Vera became very cautious. We had two kayaks: one single for Jeremy and one double for me and Vera. The wind was a bit strong and Vera was afraid I’d flip over in the kayak since it’s my first time kayaking. She didn’t want to get wet. It took a ridiculous amount of convincing until both of us got into the water. Once I was in the kayak I didn’t really understand what she was so worried about. It seemed like a very safe flotation device and at no time was there any danger of flipping over. I must admit it was quite entertaining in the waves but I imagined it would be more of an adrenaline thrill.

The funniest part was when we got out of the water. We had to carry the kayak onto the trailer but Vera wasn’t able to lift her end of the kayak. It was too heavy. Then one whitehaired elderly lady – at least 60 years old – walked by and offered to help. You should’ve seen Vera’s face. She was all like “No no no no no, I can do it, it’s alright” but she didn’t even budge the thing. It was so funny then the old woman lifted that end of the kayak and helped us get it onto the trailer.

Tim couldn’t join us at the water because he sort of found a job at a restaurant and needed to get to his trial day. We decided to go visit Tim and check out his restaurant but ended up singing carols in front of that restaurant. The local church was offering free cakes, coffee and tea over there. We couldn’t say no to free food. Ok that’s not entirely true – I couldn’t eat any of the cakes because they all had butter and milk in them. So I enjoyed my cup of coffee.

Once all the singing was done we went for drinks at Tim’s restaurant. It was busy and he didn’t seem to like it that much. But I think he got the gig and will probably stay in Paihia. So I won’t be traveling with Tim. 😦 blah blah blah…

Back to the orgy. Uhm… there were 14 people in my room, 11 were girls – 9 from Argentina (it seemed like they all traveled together), one French girl and one Estonian girl. Yes, three men as well (me and two Italians), just to please all the statisticians/mathematicians who might read this and wonder about my math skills. All the lot was a little tipsy. 😀 We had some additional drinks and I was able to practice my Estonian with Taimi because Argentina formed its own Spanish speaking group.

Taimi said that I speak with a weird accent – that’s what happens when I don’t practice my Estonian. The last Estonian I saw in flesh and blood was about a year ago. Tervitused Peeter!

After the traditional orgy I had to change accommodation. I moved into a new hostel and two Finnish girls stayed in my room, so I liked it there as well!

I also saw the Haruru waterfalls and went kayaking again with Vera since there was nothing else to do in Paihia. Later took the bus back to Auckland and now I’m couchsurfing again.

That’s pretty much it!

Merry Christmas boys and girls! I hope you weren’t naughty and got lots of presents from Santa Claus!


PS: Lot’s of love to my sister who gave birth to a little princess yesterday.


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