Home sweet home

Home sweet home


I once gave somebody some really good advice. Right now I find myself in a similar situation my friend was in. In fact I’ve been in this tight spot for almost 6 months. My friend wasn’t too happy with the place she was living in. My advice for her was to move out and find another place – problem solved. Too bad I’m too stupid to take my own bloody advice.

I’ve been living in a sharehouse for about 6 months and it’s not great. In fact it’s shit. This is the worst place I’ve ever lived in.

It’s funny how something so small can have such a big effect. Here’s what happened on my first week in this house. I woke up and went to the kitchen to make myself a banana and berry smoothie. I put everything into the blender and blended happily away. Then I heard steps coming from upstairs and Princess popped in in his underwear. It was 8 AM and it wasn’t pretty. I received an unhealthy dose of negative verbal feedback for my “crime” and was threatened he’d throw my blender away if I ever used it again at such an early time. Princess slammed the door and left to get his beauty sleep.

I was and still am disgusted by the way Princess handled the scene. It was my very first week in the house and I already received verbal threats and was yelled at. Asshole. Any normal person would’ve approached me in a calm way and asked me to wait a bit longer until I used the blender. You know.. act like a normal decent human… and then maybe have a glass of smoothie-goodness with me as well. But he chose to go all psycho on me. It must’ve been that time of the month…

That incident was quite traumatizing for me and I haven’t felt safe in the house ever since. I mean whenever I use the blender I always feel like I’m about to commit genocide. No matter what time it is, I don’t feel safe using the blender. I suck at dealing with threats.

The crap didn’t end there. It turns out that Princess likes everything done his way. For example I figured out I can’t put my washing into the washing machine before going to work and take it out once I get back (I’m usually the last one to leave the house in the morning and first one to come back). That idea didn’t fly with Princess. He said that would make the washing machine stink. I complied because I already knew what he’d be like if he lost his temper.

Another morning. This time it was a work day and around 7 or 7:30 AM. I was in the kitchen having breakfast and turned on the radio. The music wasn’t loud, just some background noise which I didn’t even notice. One or two minutes into my breakfast I heard loud and angry footsteps coming downstairs again. Princess came into the kitchen and first thing he did was turn off the radio. He was all huffing and puffing but didn’t say a word. Another 5-10 seconds of huffing and puffing and he went upstairs.

I think he realized what a dick he was but that was after he had already turned the radio off. He didn’t want to embarrass himself further and left. At least that’s what I’d like to think happened.

OK… no blending and no radio in the mornings. I can live with that, not a huge adjustment.

I came home once to just use the toilet and grab my wallet or something from my room and I left the front door unlocked. I figured I’d leave the house shortly anyway and there was no point in locking the door. As luck would have it Princess came home and the first thing he told me “the front door was unlocked”. OMG. Such a control freak. God forbid the front door was unlocked for 10 minutes. I didn’t stay to debate the issue because I was in a rush to leave the house.

Another thing I don’t like about Princess is his smoking. Smoking is not allowed in the house but he smokes on the window. The problem is that smoke comes right into my room when my windows are open (I like to keep my windows open in the summer). Why do I have to breathe in his second hand smoke? I did not sign up for this shit.

I understand that Princess might not like me but what’s the deal with the others? There have been several public holidays here and some guests were invited over for beers/lunch/dinner etc, but I was never on the guestlist. None of those social events were even mentioned to me. I believe that my housemates should’ve given me a heads up and for the very least offer me a beer or something. Not just ignore me. Who does that? I was not impressed.

There’s a girl who lives here as well and I’ve walked past her on the street a few times. I’ve said hi but she’s completely ignored me. Twice. She didn’t even look at me, just continued walking. What’s that all about?

Anyway, maybe she had a lot on her mind or had a busy day… whatever. It bothered me for a few weeks until I decided to make peace with it and accept it. If she wants to ignore me, that’s fine, I’ll respect that. On other occasions she’s said hi back and that’s all we’ve ever said to each other (and some other basic greetings). The way I see it, it’s a major improvement. Generally I think she’s a lovely girl with a very good taste in music.

Another night I came back home around midnight. My Latin dancing classes and the social end around 11 PM and I felt like having a snack before going to bed. I had some grapes in the fridge. I took ‘em out and started to wash them in the sink. The whole procedure took me a maximum of 30 seconds and then suddenly I heard footsteps on the stairs again. Now what? What did I do wrong this time?

To my surprise it wasn’t Princess who popped into the kitchen. It was FourEyes. He mumbled something for literally 3 seconds and then left. I did not understand a word he said. Maybe FourEyes was sleep-walking or something but I guess he came to complain about the noise I was making when I washed my grapes in the sink. Wow… running the tap at night must be a real crime against humanity.

The only roommate I like is Andrew. He’s very laid back and doesn’t bitch and whine about anything. All my other housemates have a lot to learn from him. I once invited him to try a Latin dancing class and he decided to give it a shot. Another time we went to play a bit of golf. He’s a good kid.

Yesterday I received a phone call from my landlord who asked me about how I was “mixing” with the other housemates. I didn’t beat around the bush and said I didn’t feel safe in the house, mostly because of Princess, his short temper and passive aggressiveness.

My landlord also said that he received a complaint about me “hoarding” the washing machine and asked what I was washing. The thing is that I do a bit of running training and need to wash my training clothes after each run. It’s because I only used to have one set of training clothes (I’ve slowly bought more in the last few months) and since I also hurt my left ankle a few weeks ago and haven’t done much running, my washing machine requirements have decreased dramatically.

What annoys me is that I had no idea I was causing anybody trouble with the washing machine. This was the first time I had heard of it. Why did the person report to the landlord instead of talking to me? Besides I always leave my empty laundry bag next to the machine, so that once the washing is done, all you need to do is take the stuff out and put it into the bag, then continue with your laundry. Basic stuff. My housemates haven’t been that mindful and on a couple occasions haven’t left a basket or laundry bag around… so I couldn’t take their washing out after the cycle finished. Not cool.



So. I think it’s time I took my own advice and moved out. I’ll be looking for a new place and hopefully can move out sooner rather than later.


Ivar the TroubleMaker


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s