Category Archives: Running

Oh the humanity

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Human nature baffles me. I just don’t understand some things. Here’s  an example: I washed my bed linen and the blanket cover, then put it on the line to dry but when I went to take it off it was already gone. Somebody (I suspect my housemates) took my stuff (to be fair it’s technically not my stuff – I found the linen and blanket cover in a closet near the TV-room on the day I moved in, and I’ve had it for 3 months). Still, “my” stuff was taken and not even a peep about who did it. I understand if you want to do the right thing and take my washing off the line before it starts raining or something… but just taking it like that… there’s no good reason why somebody would do that. I’ve looked for my bed linen and they’re nowhere – any rational person would put them into an easily to find place for the other housemate to find it. Anywho… I don’t even want to get it back, I hope the thief (or rightful owner) will get sleep apnea while under that blanket cover and is taken straight to hell to burn in the eternal fire of Hades with the power of a thousand Suns.

Hell

(I like the pic. It looks like the skeletons are dancing and the volcanoes remind me of New Zealand…. so I guess it’s a NZ party hell!!!)

Oh well…. I decided to let that fantasy of having good decent housemates go and bought new linen and a blanket/pillow cover. Problem solved!

You might think that the above is a pseudo issue but it caused me a lot of anger and frustration. Why? Why? Oh the humanity, just tell me why would anybody do such a thing?

 

Running. My training is going really well but I’m nowhere I want to be with my speed yet. I’ve discovered that during my long runs  I’m OK the first 25 km. After that my heart rate goes above my upper limit (149) very easily and it’s difficult/impossible to keep a good pace with a heart rate below 149. It might be a hydration thing… or maybe the day gets gradually too hot for me during my run?

Two days ago I ran a marathon – it wasn’t a race, just a training run. My goal was to finish in less than 4 hours. It was a beautiful day and the first 25-27 km went really well. Then it became difficult to keep my heart rate below 149 and I decided to ignore it. The last 10-12 km weren’t pretty – average heart rate around 160 which didn’t feel good. I also passed one of my colleagues from work. It was good to have somebody cheer me on on my marathon. I kept going and finished in 3:55:02.

You’d think I was happy about it but that’s not the case. I didn’t experience any joy from achieving my time goal. My brain immediately told me …”oh whoop-dee-doo, it took you 1 year to shave off 10 minutes from your marathon time”. Plus I felt like crap because I kept my heart rate near 160 for about an hour. Maybe I’m depressed? Maybe I can’t feel positive emotions anymore?

I don’t feel depressed… but maybe I’m in denial? – There’s no way to win this debate.

 

Today was another great day. I’m studying for exams which are required to become a financial adviser. These exams turned out to be much harder than I anticipated. Earlier today I took the first exam (it’s called R01) and passed it.  One down, eleven more to go!

 

Ivar the Adviser

First month in Chelmsford

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Chelmsford_sign

Life is very quiet here, I’m not really doing anything exciting. The highlight of my week is Tuesday evening when I take my Latin dancing classes. It’s good to spin those girls and dance with noobs. The last time I twisted a girl’s arm a bit (I wasn’t trying to do anything fancy, she just wasn’t following) and we learned some dips which were very entertaining because the girls don’t trust me to hold their weight in my big muscular arms :D. Oh… sometimes I wish I could do a dip 😀    Nope. Not really.

 

I resumed my running training. So far I’ve run 53, 59, 59 and 65 km per week. I also bought a heart rate monitor after doing some research. I read an article Want speed? Slow down! by Phil Maffetone.  That article convinced me to give it a shot so I bought the heart rate monitor. Basically the whole idea is to run at or slightly below your maximum aerobic heart rate (180-age-5 if injured) and build your running base. In time your body will be able to run faster while keeping the same heart rate. So far I’ve only run 3 times with my HRM and I’m slowly getting used to the feeling of running at the correct heart rate.

By the way the roads were better in Brisbane for running. Also Brisbane had lots of bats but here we’ve got many squirrels and birds who sometimes scare the crap out of me on my runs. For the record… I’m not afraid of those little creatures per se, it’s just that sometimes they fly out of the bush making all kinds of noise when you least expect it. I’m sure these little bastards are the real reason why some runners get heart attacks and die on their runs.

If you remember in a previous post I wrote that I got a job at a financial advice company (technically it’s an IFA – independent financial advisor). You might recall that I needed to pass a series of exams if I wanted to become an IFA. Let’s just say that I started studying for my first exam. I haven’t booked an exam date (you can take the exam every week or so) yet since I’m new to the financial services regulatory world in the UK – my first exam will be in markets, ethics and regulation. Once I feel a bit more confident I’ll take the exam.

 

I’ve lost weight since I left Australia. I was 80 kg when I left Brisbane. Two months in New Zealand shaved off 5 kgs and now since I’ve started training I’ve lost another 3 kgs. Today in the morning I weighed 72 kg. I need to start eating more crap!!!

I remember Vera (the German girl I travelled with in NZ) once told me her New Year’s resolution. She said with that cute cheeky smile of her’s… “What if this year I’ll do the exact opposite of what I normally do? This year my resolution is to get fat!” 😀   I just laughed because I thought that was such a ridiculous idea. Usually people get fat because they’re lazy as fuck – not because they want to. But hey… I wish her luck with her endeavors.

 

Alright back to the UK. I still haven’t received my money back from Turkey. Yesterday I filed a fraud report and hope that this will help me get my funds back. Long shot, I know. The last message from Turkey said that his mother died and he’s in Turkey blah-blah-blah… besides that he’s been ignoring all of my messages from the last 2 weeks. Turkey has my UK bank account details and could’ve made the transfer any day. He’s being a dick about it and that’s why I opened the fraud case.

 

I have days when all I do is wish to be back in Australia. The other day I saw a girl on a scooter and my heart skipped a beat or two because I thought it was Maria. Awwwww, shut up! Every now and then my Australian friends share an update or a video on WhatsApp and all that triggers so many memories of my life in Brisbane. It was a good chapter. A chapter I’d like to visit again.

Ivar the Dreamer

Experiencing the Outback and getting cultured

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Getting a free ride in Sydney

My hostel was a total dump. I expected little but no toilet paper in the restrooms and no light bulbs in the lamps were a bit too much. The place was filthy.
I had trouble finding my room. Well that’s all my fault because I didn’t realize second floor meant THIRD floor.
Among other things a blanket was actually just a second bed sheet. The showers were awful and I didn’t dare to find out whether they had hot water. I just took off. Yes, I’m a bit of a princess.

They also took a $50 key deposit. Bastards! The reception was closed when I tried to check out at 7 AM to get to the airport. So I kept the keys and hope I’ll get my deposit back this Sunday when I’m back from Ayers Rock.

My back was still hurting when I walked and getting to Bondi Junction to meet Canada was a pain. I started walking towards Bondi hoping that I’ll find a bus stop along the road. I covered about half the distance until I managed to hop on a bus but the driver said “only prepaid tickets are allowed on this bus”…. I used my highly developed skills of persuasion and said “OK, sorry” and stepped off the bus. It worked like a charm! He waved me back in and gave me a lift for free. That’s how it’s done bitches!

Last time I saw Canada was in December on our road trip from Brisbane to Cairns. A lot has happened since. We had a pleasant polite conversation, drank lots of maple syrup and made fun of each other. Aaaaahhhh! We’re so mature! It was great to see her again.

A walk in a park

It was a Friday. I landed in Ayers Rock/Uluru – right in the middle of Australia. A bus took all the Australian Outback marathon runners to their hotels. Looking out the bus windows we could see Ayers Rock in the distance.

Some of my friends worried I’d end up in a wheelchair after the race. One of them sent me an email with information about back injuries. My symptoms were closest to sciatica – something was pressing on the sciatic nerve when I was walking which was causing my pain. I felt that I could do the 11 km walk and changed my race. Hey, I wasn’t able to run, even walking was painful. Sure, I’m stupid but not suicidal. There will be other marathons.

The best part of the day was the carbo loading dinner – mmmmm lots of all you can eat food. Nom-nom-nom-nom!!!

The next day was race day. It was pretty cold in the morning – around 2 or 3 degrees but about 1 hour into the race and it warmed up. I walked barefoot and was very very slow. I shared parts of my route with the half and full marathon runners. As the runners passed me they kept asking me whether I was OK. I understand why they did that – after all I was walking at the pace of a turtle. For a while I kept telling them I was alright but it got old really quickly. Then I opted for a different tactic.

Every time I heard a runner approaching from behind I turned over and clapped and gave them some encouragement e.g. “Go, go, go!” or “Have a good run!” or “Only 26 km to go!!!”. Most of them smiled then I did that so I continued with this until the very end of my 2h 47 min walk.

Several runners actually stopped and walked with me. Some of them just needed a break form running, others wanted to enjoy the scenery and some were just curious why I was walking barefoot in the desert.

FYI walking on “red earth” was really quite pleasant. It was very similar to walking on a beach – on nice and soft sand. The weather was perfect with clear blue skies and a 20-25 C temperature. You can’t wish for better conditions for a walk!

My finish was awesome! I had to do a 100 m semi-circle around the crowd before crossing the finish line and everybody kept cheering me on the whole time. What can I say… you get what you give! 😀

Even the commentator walked up to me with his microphone and asked me a question or two about the race! I felt speeeeecial! 😛

The Australian Outback marathon was a great experience!  I highly recommend it!

After the race I did some touristy stuff. I booked a helicopter tour around Ayers Rock and Kata Tjuta. This was my first ever helicopter flight. I was more excited about being in a helicopter than seeing the rocks in the desert.

I thought the helicopter would have a lot of turbulence since it was such a small aircraft, but no. To my surprise the flight was very smooth.

Luck was also on my side – I got to sit next to the pilot and had a much better view compared to the people in the back. The tour was pretty cool!


Next day I thought my back would be killing me but I discovered I was virtually pain free instead. Good way to start a day! I didn’t do much until my flight back to Sydney.

Fat women screaming

After checking in to my second hostel I went back to the first one to give them the keys back and to collect my key deposit. Didn’t have any trouble doing that. Success!

One of the things I’ve been wanting to tick off my bucket list was seeing an opera at the Sydney Opera House. Several weeks ago I bought two tickets to La Traviata ($155 a pop) and got Canada to join me.

Fast forward to the opera, I picked up the tickets and waited for Rachel to arrive. She was late. The problem with that was that you can’t get in once the fat lady starts singing. I had to leave her ticket to the “doorwoman” so that she’d give it to Rachel. Usually they’d put the latecomers into a restricted viewing area where they could only hear the opera but couldn’t see anything. They’d have to stay there until the break. Canada was lucky to get in and see the opera from somewhere above me.

She found me during the break and we continued enjoying the show. OK, we didn’t really like the opera that much. Not exactly my thing but we had a good time commenting on the bloody thing.

Later I had to say goodbye to Rachel – this time probably for a very very long time, if not forever. I will remember her as the most captivating, ravishing, lovely, incredible, overwhelming, adorable, alluring, enticing and radiant girl I’ve ever met. I’ll remember her eyes which constantly shine with joy. And most of all I’ll cherish the memories of her unique ability to make me laugh like this:

laughing

I will miss you Rachel!

Ivar McDicks

Too dumb

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I put my hands together and extended my index fingers – just like the hypnotizer instructed. Then he said that the fingers want to stay together but he challenged us to try to separate them. As I did that the fingers magically came closer and closer and closer until they touched. The man said that if my fingers came together I was a good subject for being hypnotized. Then he asked volunteers to come on the stage and my hand was waving fanatically.

People who are stupid can’t be hypnotized. That’s what I was told. Or maybe it was a joke? I will never know.

About 12 people were sitting on chairs on the stage and we were all hypnotized – except that it didn’t work on me. I kept my eyes shut and tried to relax and focus on his words but that had no effect on me.

Other than that the show was funny. He got people to dance like Elvis or like a chicken. People were laying square eggs, looking for their imaginary dog… He transformed several men into supermodels on a catwalk and got them to do lap dances for people in the audience. The guy sitting next to me was turned into a 4 year old girl who found his mother’s make-up kit and played dress up. I saw all that and it was real. They weren’t pretending.

Cool stuff. Thank you Princess for the tickets!

After the show I walked slowly back to Prince Charming’s car because my back was still hurting but at least I could walk (massive improvement).

I’ve done no running in the last 7 days. The most I could do is 3 seconds of jogging in one place. There’s no way I’ll be running a marathon this Saturday – that miracle recovery thing isn’t happening.

Ivar the Turtle

The steps that broke the camel’s back

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I’m sure you’ve all heard of “the law of attraction”. There was a book about it and also a movie – The Secret. The law basically says that everything which happens to you is because you attracted it.

Well… yesterday I went running. It was supposed to be an easy 26 km run. In my book that’s a short distance for a long run. After about 15 km my lower back started hurting. I ignored the pain since it was unusual. It got pretty bad but I kept telling myself that the fastest way home would be to continue running.

After I got home and took a shower I wasn’t able to walk anymore. I couldn’t put my bodyweight into my right leg. And today wasn’t much different from yesterday.

It’s pathetic.

The law of attraction says that this is what I wanted and therefore the Universe replied. Thank you Universe! This is exactly what I needed just 12 days before my marathon. How can I ever repay you?

Okay, okay. I don’t really blame “the Universe”. I did this to myself – I knew it wasn’t a good idea to keep going but I just wanted to finish the distance because I was supposed to run it on Sunday, not Monday. On Sunday the Lizard was pretty convincing. I heard things like “hey, you’re tapering, it’s cold outside and it’s raining, you don’t want to risk getting sick  just two weeks before your marathon” and I gave in. On Monday I felt bad about it. Maybe my subconsciousness was punishing me for my lack of discipline? I ran because I thought I deserved to be in pain?

I’m a bit worried whether my back will let me race in Uluru at all. Soooo… things aren’t going too well right now but I’m hoping for a miracle recovery. Wish me luck!

Oh and… my vegan week was a success and it wasn’t as difficult as I imagined to change my diet. I’m continuing the vegan thing for a whole month.

Ivar the Cripple

Going the extra miles

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My arms got tired and I just wanted to give up but Goldilocks and Shrek were below watching my every move. The slope wasn’t too big but it was challenging. All I wanted to do was let go and have Goldilocks lower me down to the ground but she didn’t. So I kept trying until I figured out what to hold on to and was able to climb to the top of the wall.

She had faith in me or the more likely explanation is that she just enjoyed watching me struggle. It felt great to reach the top. The rest of the day we climbed other walls, had fun doing it and got a decent upper body workout in the process.

Today I was planning to run a 32 km. It was part of my marathon training. The weather was great and I felt really good, so after my first 16 km run I thought that I should try running a full marathon i.e 42.2 km. 10K’s here or there didn’t really matter, I thought.

GoTheExtraMile

I thought wrong. The last 10 km were pretty difficult and I slowed down a fair bit. I wasn’t able to pace myself correctly for the whole distance. I was pretty happy once I finished. After all, this is a personal best for me – longest run so far. It took me 4h and 5min to finish.

It would be great if I was able to run a marathon faster than 3:08 – like my aunt did – but it seems that goal is too ambitious to achieve in 7 weeks. At least I know that I will finish the Uluru marathon. Today’s run gave me a decent confidence boost which I badly needed.

The thing is… for several weeks I’ve been having trouble making new personal best times and I’ve been taking a bunch of days off from running because of various pains in my legs. I was starting to doubt myself and after today’s run…

Life.

Is.

Good.

Again.

Part of my motivation was probably from Goldilocks. Yesterday she pushed me to try harder when I wanted to give up climbing that wall. I remembered how good it felt to reach the top. Today I wanted to feel that way again and I pushed myself a bit harder. It was difficult to wipe that smile off my face during my cool down walk. I really was enjoying that moment. Success!

Ivar

New tricks and my second half marathon

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The look in her eyes was pure horror. She laughed her way through the solo skydive but two days ago she was likened to a shaky leaf. Princess probably thought I’d drop and break her. Her concerns were valid since I’m hardly the strongest person on the block.

Picking up chicks was the easy part, lifting them a whole other matter. I was really glad to participate in the lifts and tricks workshop. The fancy moves we learned – backbends, between legs lifts, high lifts and the dirty dancing lift – are the very reason why I started Latin dancing.

It was very entertaining too! We had a bit too much fun as one of the instructors pointed out. 😀

The next day I was pretty sore because I’ve never really done any upper body training. It was good to practice the movements again during the social dancing night. I sure hope we made others look bad with our new bag of tricks. 😀

Dirty dancing lift

No dancing today. I had an early 5 AM start to get myself to a half marathon race (21.1 km). Not a big event though – I think about 400 people participated. As always, I ran barefoot.

My goal was to follow the 1:30 pacer and make a new personal best. Everything was going well until about the 6th km. That’s when I managed to cut my foot on a rock or something. The injury was near my big toe. That was the end of my good speed and I just focused on finishing the race no matter the time.

I was run-limping for most of the next 15 km. It sucked to see so many people pass me but it felt great to cross the finish line. I shot a big V with my arms for the finishing photo. As I crossed the line the voice from the speakers said my name and commented “he’s got the right attitude finishing with style, a barefoot runner”. That was so cool! Later, a bunch of people asked me questions about barefoot running, they were all so interested or just wanted to check whether I was fair dinkum or not.

All I know is that it took me about 1:45-2:00 to finish. No new personal best but I was pretty happy to complete my second half marathon. I hope to find out the official results tomorrow.

Ivar

The big one

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Some of you might not know why I’m running this much. It’s because I plan to run the Australian Outback Marathon around Ayres Rock (that big rock in the center of Australia).

Ayers Rock

It’s a rather expensive race. In fact it’s the most expensive stunt I’ve done in my life. I’ve booked my flights and accommodation and it cost me a bit more than $2000. Totally worth it! Hey, you can’t run a marathon in the desert every day. I’m looking forward to the experience. I’ve got 8 more weeks to train (and recover) for it.

You know what I like about the marathon? I like that it’s such a big commitment. All the other stuff I’ve done is just something I can do in exchange for money. Take skydiving for example – all you need to do is pay for the thing and you can do it the very next day.

The marathon is a completely different beast. You can’t pay your way to the finish line. It takes a lot of work: about 1400 km of running, stretching, lots of yoga and eating. The last part is surprisingly difficult because I keep losing weight even though I’ve never eaten this much in my life as I do right now. It’s also tough to sit on your butt all day when you’re injured. The mental side of running is the hardest – the Lizard can be a real bitch sometimes.

Something tells me it’s going to be the best feeling ever to cross that finish line. That’s what motivates me. That’s what keeps me going.

Ivar

Hurt

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The day after my jump was pretty good. I went for a 32km run and was quite happy to finish it in less than 3 hours. This was my longest non-stop run ever and I ran a total of 75 km that week – two personal bests. I was in a good mood all day long. Life was good again.

Two days later things changed. I went for a 16 km run but noticed that my shins started to hurt when running. Every. Step. Was. Painful. I only ran 5 km.

Shin splints I guess. I’m no doctor but that’s probably what it is. I took three days off and went for a 10K. My legs felt slightly better but I reckon I need more rest. I cancelled today’s long run and spent the day on my couch feeling sorry for myself. I’ve never skipped my long run. This week I only did 15 km, it’s probably 15 km more than you did my dearest reader. This is just sad. It really sucks to be hurt.

You know what makes things even worse? I’ve got a half marathon race next Sunday. A sub 90 minute finish was my goal when I signed up but now it feels I’m lucky to finish in less than 2 hours. “What have I become, my sweetest friend?… I will let you down. I will make you hurt…”

Friday was also my last work day, I’m starting a new similar job next week. I’m going to miss some of the idiots from work. 😀 and flipping rubber bands, attaching binder clips to shirts, suspending batches so that somebody else would process the difficult ones…  Not exactly excited about the change because the new job is mostly boring data entry and only for 4 weeks. I wish I could do something with a bit more meaning for work. So I started to apply for “real” jobs again. Hmm…  maybe I should become a math teacher?

Dancing though is going pretty well and I do lots of it – about 10-12 hours a week. Clearly I’m enjoying it. I like that I’m not a beginner in some of my courses anymore. For example I’m taking Tango and Bachata intermediate lessons. Feels good to level up! There’s so much to learn. I also started hip hop for beginners. It was very different from Latin dancing but I’ll stick with it until they teach me to moonwalk.

Ivar

Noosa half marathon

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The last two weeks before the race were rubbish. I hurt my quadriceps muscles (that’s the front of the thigh). I think I ran too fast downhill and my legs weren’t used to that kind of stress. Anywho there was one day I was in so much pain I couldn’t fall asleep and had to take some painkillers (paracetamol – the label said it’s good for muscle pain). After that incident I took training way easier.

I started to cycle (I’m terrible at that) and swim. OK, I went to a pool once. And I was terrible at swimming too. I turns out that there’s a bit of technique involved in swimming. You use your hands for 3 strokes and then breathe, repeat. Also there are several strokes to use e.g. butterfly, freestyle, back crawl. I’ll get better, I hope.
I sent a bunch of couchsurfing requests into the Sunshine Coast area and was lucky to find a host. I knew that I’d rather be a bit social than spend the day alone in a hotel/hostel thinking and worrying about my run the day before the race.

I made some chocolate chip cookies for my host, bought two GU energy gels for the race and drove to Noosa to pick up my racing pack. Later I met my CS host Brock and his family. I was positively surprised by the two Swedish girls who were also guests at Brock’s place. The more the merrier…

OK race day. I drove to Noosa and parked about 3 km away from the start line. This was good because I wanted to jog a bit for my warm-up. My leg was slightly hurting and I was pondering whether I should not run at all. Since the route was very flat I decided to give it a go.

I was happy there was no long piss-line. Soon after my bladder was emptied I was standing in the crowd of runners before the start line.

My goal was the same as in my previous Twilight half marathon – to run a sub 100 minute race. 30 seconds of silence for Boston and a bit later the race started. I went a bit slower this time.

The weather was perfect and running felt quite good. My first lap was quite easy – 47 minutes and I felt good because I was on pace to finish in less than 100 minutes. I planned to  go all out in the last 5 km of the second lap but I just didn’t have the energy. Instead of speeding up I actually slowed down and people started to pass me. It took me about 49 minutes for the second lap.

I finished my first half marathon in 1:36:36 and I’m very happy with my result. After the race I thought that normally I do yoga after running so I should do it this time too.  Sure it was a bit strange to do yoga in public but hey, it’s part of my running ritual. It was a bit funny but other runners around me started to stretch and do pigeon and similar poses as well.

From now on I will work on my endurance and speed. I might run another half marathon in 5 weeks and try finishing in less than 90 minutes. I think it’s a realistic goal.

Ivar